The 10 Rules of Bohemian Marketing
As I write this, I am listening to the Dandy Warhols play Bohemian Like You. Are you familiar? Better go put it on if you’re going to read this.
What does it mean to be Bohemian?
Bohemian – a person who has informal and unconventional social habits, especially an artist or writer.
Is that you?
If you want to be successful in this online space where Barbarians slay Dragons and Wizard pull bags of gold out of thin fucking air…
…it better be.
Case in point…
“Cloud Money: A White Trash Guide to Producing Wealth on the Internet”
It’s a product about creating and selling digital assets.
I launched it for 4 days.
That “White Trash” thing got a lot of people talking. Some good, some bad, but a lot of energy.
And when the dust settled 4 days later Cloud Money, my funny little course with the politically incorrect name had generated $10,426.67.
RULE 1: Be Polarizing
The Collector looks at information products like Stephen King novels. He finds the product vendors that he likes and he kind of attaches himself to them like authors.
When they release a new product he buys it.
When they send out a new email he opens it.
He collects their products, never really taking action on any of them but just being entertained by them. Many times the collector doesn’t even realize he’s a collector.
Many times it’s a subconscious act. He thinks he’s being productive by following the teachings of his most favorite internet marketing gurus, but in reality he’s just being entertained by them.
Many times the collector understands that he is not making money because he is not taking action. He has a sense for it but doesn’t have the urgency to change it in most cases.
I don’t mind the collector. If severe ambition and a penchant for execution did not haunt me, I myself might be a collector. My grandfather was a collector of coins, guitars, and even cars.
I like collectors.
It’s always, “What are you going to do to make that BIG money on the internet?”
Sell information products? Start an Amazon Niche site? Maybe…do some YouTube vlogging?
The “what” is seductive. There are a lot of “what’s” out there to choose from.
The “what” is like a long cool woman in a black dress, smiling seductively at you as she walks by…
Perfect lips, perfect hips, sets your mind reeling and then…
You have mail.
Surprise, surprise…looks like she has some competition (aka your inbox just slammed you with another bizop bro)
Well, well, aren’t you the wild stallion.
“What’s” are everywhere in this land. They multiply like those furry little creatures from the Gremlins movies. You remember them? Mogwai, I think they were called.
Anyways…you feed those damn Mogwai after midnight and ALL hell breaks loose. That’s when they turn into those hellish little ugly bastards that break everything.
Maybe that means you should stop opening email after midnight…
The point is…the “what” is common.
It get’s a lot more difficult for people with the “how.” You see…all these “what’s” come with manuals and courses and audios and step by step trainings and 2 hour webinars complete with 5k backend upsells designed to teach you the “how” to your chosen “what”…
…but at the heart of it…
…sometimes the “how” can be very hard. And when you ask them, “but how?”
No one ever tells you “very carefully, with a little luck, and eventually maybe…”
But they all probably should.
“How” is not a long cool woman in a black dress.
“How” is your gaslighting psychopathic ex who is more than happy to make you think you are doing good…
…only to slam you down with the reality of your failure and laugh in your face (aka you wasted more money on another dumb course and that shit did not work at all).
Do not despair…
There is yet hope…
The truth is you should have started this journey in a different place. Elusive as it might be…
“Why” is where you should have started this journey. Forget the what. Forget the how.
What about how we find the “why?”
Because the “why” is a golden child.
Like that 80’s movie “The Golden Child” with Eddie Murphy?
The one where a Tibetan boy, the mystical Golden Child, is kidnapped by the evil Sardo Numspa, humankind’s fate hangs in the balance?
On the other side of the world in Los Angeles, the priestess Kee Nang seeks the Chosen One, who will save the boy from death?
Eddie Murphy was the chosen one…
You remember that?
Well buckle up buttercup…you’re the chosen one now.
The “why” is you’re golden child.
The year was 2009.
‘We make great computers. They’re beautifully designed, simple to use and user-friendly. Wanna buy one?’
‘Everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use, and user-friendly. And we happen to make great computers. Wanna buy one?’
Apple started with “why.”
So says Simon. So agrees I.
But my question is this…
Do you have a why for trying to do what you do?
Or are you still chasing that long cool woman in a black dress?
If you are out there right now and you find yourself reaching and failing, reaching and failing…
First off, do not despair for we all reach and fail, reach and fail…
But maybe…just maybe…
YOu could get closer to success, if only you had that ever elusive “why.”
So tell me now.
I’m Kam, some people call me ZeroFatz and that’s all I got!
Literally, you can write a 10,000 word epic blog post that solved world hunger and teaches people how to make a million dollars at the same time…
…and the only comment you got was “Aksherinkah” who apparently wants to talk about…soap?
…and wordpress kind of thought that was spam so they didn’t even let her through…
…they were right.
I came up with an idea for my product. A concept if you will. In my niche, there is a company called clickfunnels which is very popular among marketers. They have a lot of brand awareness and they have a strong affiliate program which drives that awareness.
The problem with clickfunnels? It’s fairly expensive as far as monthly expense is concerned. At $99 a month, All the newbies know about them because of their great brand awareness but none of the newbies can really afford clickfunnels from a business standpoint because they have no idea what they are doing yet. If they can afford it it’s because they are spending out of pocket which is not conducive for a great business.
SO I decided I would target this “can’t afford clickfunnels” demographic who knew the power of a funnel (thanks clickfunnels) but couldn’t afford that all in one solution. I wanted to show them how to build an entire functioning sales funnel that would make them money. And I wanted to show them how to set it all up for free.
I decided I would make the product video because I can produce the videos quickly. Much quicker than writing and people perceive the video presentation as having a higher value than a special report.
I’m just wondering if your sick of being hustled yet?
See that’s all I ever hear about when I connect with people on facebook.
They are sick of having to buy all these upsells, and they hate getting lost in these giant sales funnels…
Those giant sales funnels account for over half those marketers revenue.
And the only way to get those marketers to stop upselling you and giving you garbage on the front end is by showing them that you can handle another way.
See I’ve been saying to everybody that my new product Affiliate Command 2017 is “customer-centric.”
But you know that’s really just a nice way of saying…
Why am I doing this?
Well have you ever gotten really angry about something and then just wrote an email to somebody you hated…but you didn’t send it? Instead you gave yourself 24 hours..you know…24 hour rule, then you deleted it and went about your merry way.
Everything is cool.
Well…this blog post is like that letter…
Here are 10 reasons you should never launch another IM product again:
It’s a violent scene. An intense scene. It says something. It says revenge is coming. It says none of you will escape me.
A whole jolly club with jolly pirate nicknames!
That’s what the black hat forum scene reminds me of.
I’m not going to name any one place in particular because I don’t want to increase their legend or give them more power than they deserve. SO who are they?
For those of you that don’t know, there is a certain element of the IM scene that will get a hold of your hard work, the thing you put your livelihood on. The thing you stayed up all those nights trying to build…they will get a hold of your products and they will let it rip…
The black hat forums are where they go to share it. Share it with the poor hopeless fools at the bottom who haven’t figured out that they have to take chances and spend money to make things happen. Share it with the IM Purgatory bound information junkies who “just want to know what’s in the box.”
I’m not mad at the people they are sharing the information with. After all…they are handicapped by mental blocks that they haven’t overcome yet. I get that. I’m not mad at them. I do feel sorry for them, but I’m not mad.
The jolly pirates on the other hand…well…
“Vengeance is mine said the Lord…”
But those Jolly blackhat pirates test me.
The Adolescent Narcissist
This guy is like 13 years old and he can’t make friends at school so he has figured out how to be good at stealing IM products. He fancies himself a “hacker” and takes joy in fools on the “blackhat forums” thanking him and up voting his “rep” points.
He doesn’t understand the damage he is doing to the vendor because he doesn’t know what it is to support a family. He doesn’t get having his back against a wall to pay a mortgage or make sure your kids get Christmas. He’s just a stupid fucking kid who’s parents probably use the computer as a babysitter.
Good luck with that.
Honestly, he is the least dangerous. On some level I feel bad for him. He’s learning the game all wrong. He’s got a lot of work to do to figure it out.
The Joy Rider
Similar to the Adolescent Narcissist this guy wanted to see what was in the box. No intention of ever using the product, he got himself a review copy and now he wants to get those extra props for sharing because he figures…all the other monkeys want to see what’s in the box too! He’s encouraged by the comments and the “rep” points too.
He’s thinks he’s a hunter. Looking for the next “cool” product to get a review copy of. You’re only as good as your last share right?
Shame on this guy. He’s a grown man. He’s a fool but still…a grown man. That being said though…you have to feel pity for the guy. He’s going nowhere fast. It’s just a hobby.
He should know he’s wrecking people. He should know he’s taking food out of the mouths of the vendors kids. He should but he doesn’t. He’s a fool. I’d like to punch him in the face if I was being honest with you. Just to wake him up, ya know?
The Jason Bourne
The Bourne is the worst of all the Pirates.
Named after a fictional CIA agent who was a sleeper assassin, The Bourne is a shark.
The Bourne knows the game. He probably knows it better than the poor fool he’s ripping off. He might even be a JV partner or a fellow trusted affiliate. He has an agenda.
The Bourne wants to wreck your launch. He doesn’t care about the “rep” or the influence in the blackhat forum. He wants…to wreck… your launch.
Maybe he is launching on the same day and he wants to eliminate competition.
Maybe he just wants to “destroy something beautiful.”
Maybe he just wants to “watch the world burn.”
But don’t kid yourself. It’s not random. The Bourne believes that there are no rules in love and war and he fancies himself a real live Sun Tzu true blue warrior.
He’s not. He’s a fucking snake.
Real warriors live by a code. They don’t sneak around in the shadows sabotaging their “friends” launches.
I have no love for the Bourne. They are sneaking around out there right now, leaking your products 2 days before you launch. They think you don’t know. But now you know.
I write this article tonight because I want the Bournes to know that I know.
I see you.
I have no sympathy for the Bournes. I think like most snakes, they deserve to have their heads beneath a boot.
“Vengeance is mine, said the Lord…”
So those are the 3 types I found. The Adolescent Narcissist, The Joy Rider, and the Jason Bourne. 2 of them might one day have a future…the 3rd needs to find life elsewhere.
As for me…
I am becoming a force to be reckoned with and I’m not going to stop. There’s a new way to do things now.
An honest way where we lift each other up. I really help my customers. I turn them into my peers and I help them win. Does that threaten you?
I want you to know I see you.
I am aware of your sabotage. You won’t stop me.
I’ll be seeing you around. Giving you review copies. All the while knowing the truth.
The other day someone reached out to me on my YouTube channel and said they were really frustrated with trying to make money online. They were broke, depressed, and felt like giving up. They wanted to know if I had ever been at the bottom like that and if I had had a major breakthrough moment that changed everything.
I had to think about it for a few minutes. The truth is I have not just had one breakthrough moment. I have had several of them. Every single one of them seemed to come when I did something that I really didn’t feel comfortable doing, because I had never done it before, or it seemed too hard in my mind.
Often times though, I notice that something inspired me in some way to take that chance. Something was the catalyst in every instance. These three come to mind…
In 2013 there were an estimated 152 million blogs on the internet. It’s probably more now. That was 3 years ago. With all those blogs running around out there it is pretty much impossible that you are going to know about all of them, let alone read everything they are publishing. It’s a shame to because there are some really talented writers out there writing some fantastic articles…especially in the realm of marketing.
Here are 10 that I really enjoyed…